The Memory Cathedral: canticum

Showing posts with label canticum. Show all posts

Sunday, March 23, 2014

CANTICUM 15 BEER: Let This Not Be a Love Song

[C] Left your house this morning
[F] Couldn’t wake you up
[C] Rode home in the rain and early morning light
[G] Trying to figure love

My shirts smelled like cigarettes and beer
Like I was wearing all of last night
My soul feels as empty as these morning streets
Trying to understand why we fight

[Refrain]

[F] But let this not be a love song
[C] Cause according to you I’d get it all wrong
[G] Just let this be a memory
[C] Of what once was [C7] between you and me

[F] O let this not be a love song
[C] Even I can’t bear to sing another one
[G] Just let this be a memory
[C] Of what once was [G] between you and [C] me

Tried to call you after I got up
Left a message on your machine
I don’t know why, didn’t mean to make you cry
Can’t you understand what I mean

Remember the Spanish Steps
Two bottles of wine and a loaf of bread
Running all night through our dreams
I loved every single word you said

[Refrain]

Went by your place this evening
After one too many beers
Knew everything I was supposed to say
It was all so goddamned clear

But you weren’t home and I kept drinking
Kept thinking about how good it once was
More good times than could fit in my mind
You’re the only one I’ll ever love

CANTICUM 14 CROSS: Cross in the Field

[Em] There’s a cross in the [D] field
[C] A sign on the door for [Em] me
[Em] Bones at the bottom of the [D] well
[C] You told me that you’d never [Em] tell

There’s a broken man covered in tears
An empty book full of all of his fears
Bones at the bottom of the well
You told me that you’d never tell

[Refrain 1]

[D] Write down all my prayers in blood
[C] I don’t ever sing of love
[G] Bind my soul to ancient bones
[D] And walk amongst you all [Em] alone

There’s a cross in the field
A sign on the door for me
Bones at the bottom of the well
You told me that you’d never tell

There’s a woman with a ring in her hand
Without a single memory of me
There’s a moment always caught in my mind
There was a time, there was a time

[Refrain 2]

[D] Stare into the ring of fire
[C] Lose my mind in all desire
[G] Write down all my prayers in blood
[D] I don’t ever sing of [Em] love

There’s a cross in the field
And the gods stand before you revealed
There’s a moment always caught in my mind
There was a time, there was a time

[Refrain 2]

CANTICUM 13 DUST: Dust is Dreaming in the Rose

See the burning face above me

Feel the burning fires below

Hand of God marking off each hour

Cutting deep down into the bone

Every day is getting longer

Every word is said so slow

Time is sleeping on the crosses

Dust is dreaming in the rose

You with your ring of judgement

Around the flesh and around the bone

You never told me where your soul went

I saw it creeping back into its hole

CANTICUM 12 MIRROR: Childhood Lost

Childhood Lost

In the corner of a window
In a shack out in the woods
There's a mirror in a spiderweb
A time we called childhood

Sliding out of the darkness
Is an old man called Regret
He sits beside that window
Just waiting until we forget

When we do he's ready
To wrap us in his words
To tell us dreams of easier things
How the world was so absurd

Slowly sliding his web around
To hold us tight in time
To wrap us up in innocence
Like there never was a crime

Silent desperation
Throws lies across those years
And every single nightmare
Is floating on our tears

That face we see in the mirror
Just couldn’t be our own
Through a crack in the window
The wind begins to blow

A childhood lost in ignorance
Is every old man's dream
Shadows fade to emptiness
In every old man's dream

About his life.

CANTICUM 11 BOOK: God Won't Leave Me Alone

O I've been drinking
All night again

O I've been thinking
About dying again

You won't forgive me
For my sins

You won't forget me
Again and again

God won't leave me alone
Even though he's broken all my bones

O I've been writing
A book of blood

O I've been fighting
Almost everyone

God won't leave me alone
Even though he's broken all my bones

Tuesday, March 18, 2014

CANTICUM 10 DOMINOES Kingdom Come

I'm going to lie so still now

Going to take my time today

Back down to a place I know

I got a raft

I'll float away

My body is so full of bones

Always going to be my home

No matter what the devil says

Not with his sticks

Not with his stones

I've got a soul on fire

And every old man that I know

Is sitting playing dominos

Getting drunk

In the choir

I'm going to take my words back now

Going to take my name away

Lie down in that grave

With a smile

On my face

CANTICUM 9 RED ROCKS 63 Days in a God-haunted Haze

Sixty-three days in a God-haunted haze

Dues down paid with the dealers only made

Me want to get up and with the bimp down grades

My love is long gone, fingerprints will fade

So no one will know if I just don't go

Back to Austin to stand in the Chicon Street glow

Over red rocks spit out of you told me so

I'll hide in the dumpster so the smoke won't show

Know that it's over in forty days

Quarantined bad dreams, a skull for a face

Know that I'll be back there to take my place

As another man dances through a stranger's days

Take seven from eleven and I'll pay you two

One for myself and here's a silver tooth

We're both burning rocks on the Fresh Up roof

A psychopathic liar and a lover of truth

She tells me again it's sin to fall down

High tales told in a cold northern town

She traces tattoos on my skin in the lost and found

I'm walking to a rodeo trying not to be a clown

Holding all the memories that are tearing me apart

There's a hole in my chest for a dead dog's heart

Take a bottle from the desert, drink in all the bars

Falling off my barstool trying hard to play the part

I got a mirror in my trailer that's cracked three ways

Look into it long enough and you can still see her face

Up to facts about it all, those long summer days

In the smoke and the flame, the shame and disgrace

We burned up all her toys and sold all my books

About the bones and the language and everything it took

To take a dollar from the boy with the rabbit's foot

Set fire to the skies, lie about all we could

Now we stand in the front yard and she slaps my face

The bed's got a hole from where the dog took my place

Driving around the East Side for days and days

Crawl into the backseat to hide my face

I call out for forgiveness into a hung up phone

Digging through the snow, a dog for a bone

Trying to bury all the memories before I hear a dial tone

A recorded voice telling me that I'm not alone

Sixty-three days in a God-haunted haze

Holding my breath for a measure of grace

Amazing as it might have been, it's not my place

To try and start it all to end again, both of us insane

CANTICUM 8 TOTEM POLE Simple Head Sitting on a Simple Man

Simple head sitting on a simple man

Draw a circle around your bones

We drew a straight line

We're doing what we can

Simple head sitting on a simple man

Totem poles all lined up in a row

See a figure eight lie down and dream

Stand straight as you can

Look down below

Totem poles all lined up in a row

Kelly Bellows in a dreamscape full of rain

Tears falling, falling down your face

We danced with the clowns

Sang the song of the human race

Kelly Bellows in a dreamscape full of rain

Exploitation is simple and up on the wall

The simple man he's screaming at you all

The metaphor falls apart

And still you see the water fall

Exploitation is simple and up on the wall

CANTICUM 7 TRAIN Mayfield

It was on the train to Mayfield

that celebrated Birthdays,

conductors standing straight and tall,

and all the the rolling earth.

There we stood and heard the choir

and saw the people dancing.

I said, let's take the next stop.

You nodded absently.

So we got off in Hiding.

Walked the streets together.

A light rain was falling.

And the prophets on the street corners

were calling out your name.

Well, the house was cold and dark but open,

with crosses made of birch and twine,

hanging above our bed

with the covers kicked away,

revealing you to me

and now my thoughts are drifting,

remembering a memory

and what you asked of me:

Have you made up your mind?

I've already decided.

I'm staying here in Hiding

until I can really get away.

And I can't hear you, Mary Ann.

And I am dreaming, Mary Ann.

The broken shutter's swinging

woke me up the next morning.

Then I heard you singing

from underneath your pillow.

Outside the sun was shining

with such intensity

that we took our time awakening

to say our good-byes.

And at the Station we stood apart,

afraid of retribution.

Here's the Lie and here's the Sign

that this will last forever.

And I watched you from the window.

I'm going on to Mayfield, Mary Ann.

I am leaving, Mary Ann.

CANTICUM 6 TRASHCAN Ghosts

I've known disgrace

Torn my body

Broke my bones

Too many times

I trouble my mind

Thinking about heaven

Sitting in hell

Doing time

I've felt desire

Burn my language

Turn my circles

Into lines

I figure my sentence

With no punctuation

I just keep thinking

We're doing fine

Like an empty trash can

Won't be taken

Can't feel nothing

Got nothing inside

You tell me

But I know you're faking

When it comes down to it

You're still mine

Monday, March 17, 2014

CANTICUM 5 EGGS: Transcendental Pretense

All these drugs
Are such a skull fuck dream
Take you down
Like you've never seen
Ride that horse
Kick in the saddle
Wrap your tongue
Around a ping-pong paddle
Swing real hard
Hit the little ball
Over the net
She broke the see-saw

A bottle of wine
Sitting in the sun
See that juice
As it run run runs
Take a drink
Twenty hits of acid
Come down a week later
See where that wine went
It's in through your mouth
And down through your body
Hold me down Jesus
With your black belt karate

Hit me in the spine
Crack's so fine
Break me in two
All over you
Shatter my heart
Right here on the spot
Injure my vanity
To upset my sanity
I'm crazy in love
Love like crazy
One hit from you
And I feel so lazy

Lying in the middle
Of your cosmic legs
Dive into a puddle
Of some scrambled eggs
Back in the bedroom
Melt in the full moon
Howl with the possum
He's playing a good tune
Sit with me Devil
Up here on the fence
Let's try to make some sense
Of this Transcendental Pretense

CANTICUM 4 CRYPTONIGHT: Cryptonight

I once was a man of steel
Could jump tall buildings
It was no big deal

Out run those trains
Burning down the tracks
I'd never look back

No one told me Cryptonight
Creeps up on you in the middle of the night
Now I wake up and nothing is right

It's Cryptonight
It is my life

Cryptonight weakens every thought in my brain
Cryptonight makes me think I'm going insane
Cryptonight fill my mind with doubt

And the sun
Will go out
The sun will go out

She said forever would never end
Then she said that we should
Just be friends

I don't know
It all depends
on Cryptonight

It is my life
Cryptonight

CANTICUM 3 HOLE: 40 Days in a Hole

I spent
40 days in a hole
Where it's going
Watching wheels roll

Well, I've been down deep
Under the sea
I've seen things
No one should ever see

Now you come back
Make my spine go crack
I need another hit
Before I have an attack

Of lost soul lonely
Love in a tin can
On an island all alone
A footprint in the sand

Well, it ain't nothing
To bleed until there ain't no blood
I walked thirteen miles
My boots caked with mud

To hold the heart of God
On a nail through my hand
To close my eyes and dream
The existence of man

Who never lived for nothing
Outside of his soul
Who never tried to understand
What he was told

He just sat there grinning
Shotgun in his mouth
Pull the trigger down
I heard the shotgun shout

It's blood on the tiles
And some toothless smiles
It took me forty days
To walk thirteen miles

And no blood running
And no white lies
No precious tears
On the blade of a knife

Now you come back
Make my spine go crack
I need another hit
Before I have an attack
Of your love

CANTICUM 2 HUMMINGBIRD: Hummingbird Lullabye

Hummingbird lullabye
And sweet apple wine
The days have grown shorter
And I can't seem to find
My way out of the darkness
That's surrounded my life
Hummingbird lullabye
And sweet apple wine

A ribbon and a rose
An old photograph
I sit on the curb
I can still hear her laugh
Inside my memory
It's all that I have
A ribbon and a rose
And an old photograph

A rowboat on a river
And the stars up above
I lay down and drift down
Away from my love
Who waits in the garden
Is it me she dreams of
A rowboat on a river
And the stars up above

Three teeth of silver
And the Old Laughing Bone
I've traveled for years
Trying to find my way home
I've sat in garden
I'm forever alone
With three teeth of silver
And the Old Laughing Bone

CANTICUM 1 FACE: Man From Nod

I’m a man from the Land of Nod
On my way to see my God

See my wife of thirty years
Her face is ruined from her tears

Yes I’m a man from the Land of Nod
On my way to see my God

See my child with eyes so bright
The stars are hidden from his sight

O I’m a man from the Land of Nod
On my way to see my God

My mother is draped in robes of shame
Fears to use my father’s name

Well I’m a man from the Land of Nod
On my way to see my God

My other child is buried deep
Sings my dreams when I sleep

Yes I’m a man from the Land of Nod
On my way to see my God

Yes I’m a man from the Land of Nod
On my way to see my God

They say he sleeps on a cold grey stone
Holes for eyes and snow-white bones

Well I’m a man from the Land of Nod
On my way to see my God

Yes I’m a man from the Land of Nod
On my way to see my God

I wrote this in my head this as I was walking across the north of Spain on the Camino de Santiago pilgrimage route. There was a lot of time on those 20 mile days. I got tired of hearing myself think, so I made up some walking songs. In the three weeks that I spent walking, I probably sang this song over five hundred times.

Depending upon my mood, I would add drum breaks, guitar solos and whistling, sing it as opera, blues, hard rock, quiet folk, Motown soul, bleak West Texas country, Good Ole Boy Nashville country, imitating Elvis, Willie, Tom Waits, Dean Martin and James Brown - to name only the best versions.

Just outside of Molinaseca, coming down from the ruined village of Foncebadon, I came upon a flock of young sheep, no shepherd in sight, one small ram with a big bell around its neck. I had been singing Man From the Land of Nod. I stopped and walked through them. They followed. I turned on them and Yahhed! and Gitted! yelling at them move away. They just stood stock still, looking at me with what I imagined to be a measure of sheeplike amusement. I walked on. For the next half a mile they followed. I kept searching for the shepherd or a nearby farm. Nothing. Finally, I just gave in. Fuck it. Started singing again at the top of my lungs, walking along the tops of the hills with a herd of Spanish sheep jumping all around behind me.

Just on the outskirts of Molinaseca, they peeled back the other way. I stood there listening to the sound of the ram's bell clanging away into the distance.